Being in the hospital and fighting this disease (I call it how I see it....it is a disease and I am living with it, but it will NOT control my life) shows you a whole new outlook on life. All of the little things in life begin to really matter. Cease the day! No regrets! Smell the flowers! Look at the sky!
What do I look forward to while in the hospital?
Showering...this may seem so minor to most of you, but just being able to have a shower or a sponge bath is such an amazing feeling. When you are having to "restart life" modesty goes out of the window. I have to rely on my mom to help me shower or bathe me at the moment. There is only so much movement that I can do on my own. With that said...if she did not know about my tattoo already then she does now ;-). Anyway, when I wake up in the morning I am so ready to hit the showers and let that hot water run!
Blogging...when I first found out about this disease I was SOOO embarrassed and only wanted a select few people to know. Everyone saw me as a strong person and I felt like I could do anything so admitting that there was something wrong made me feel like I let myself down and people would look down on me. So what did I do? I still did not slow down and overworked myself...against parent's, doctor's, and friend's advice. Of course, things became worse. I began falling asleep randomly and I had no control over it. Yes, even behind the wheel. I would sit down for 5 minutes and before I knew it...I had been asleep for an hour. Mom drew the line at that point and she would not let me drive anymore! TYRONE!!!!! So that horrible experience opened my eyes and made me want to put my story out there and help someone else. Ever since I began this blog I have learned that there are other people that I KNOW that have experienced something similar or know of someone who has. My support group has grown because of this blog. :-D
New Found Appreciation for the Little Things
- Walking
- Being able to get up and walk across the room without the fear of falling.
- Walking down the hallway to the next room without your legs cramping and giving up on you.
- Walking without having to have someone right behind you.
- Getting Up
- Being able to get up on your own without having to do the 1,2,3 and up dance
- Not having to wait for your knees to unlock
- Sitting Down
- Being able to plop down on the bed without hurting or pulling something
- Being able to sit down without losing feeling in your legs and enduring and excruciating spasm or cramp
- Eating
- Being able to FEED YOURSELF!
- Control of Your Own Body
Christmas 2012
It would be around this time (any other year) that I would have submitted an oral and written list to my parents of ALL the things that I would want for Christmas. Anything ranging from electronics to clothes to the newest of the new. Not this year!
I have too much to be thankful for and I am most thankful for my life. Had I not been admitted this time at the time I was I would most likely not be here writing this blog. Things happen for a reason and it has taken me this long to realize it.
What do I want for Christmas this year?
- To be around my family!
- Laugh around the tree in the morning like we use to!
- To wake up at home in my own bed!
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